Holla Back Texas

12/4/08

2008-12-04T17:08:00.000-08:00

I was walking my dog in Houston, Texas when a man in a beat up car pulled up beside me. He rolled down his window and said, “I’m going to arrest you”.

“For what?” I replied.

“For walking so lovely”.

I told him to keep driving and he left. Seriously, guys, do you think these cheesy lines work?

9/20/08

2008-09-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

I was out running errands, and I had gone by my employment agency to pick up some paperwork so I was dressed somewhat professionally (nice shirt, khaki pencil skirt, etc). I mean, I was not dressed in casual teenage-ish clothes which could make me look younger than I am (I already look young for my age, which is 22). So it's around 5pm and about an hour after the middle school close to the library has let out, so there are a bunch of kids with nothing better to do hanging around the slightly ghetto strip the library is in, which is really annoying. Anyway, I walk up to the library entrance and there's some kids sitting on one of the benches in front of it.

I'm walking up, with no one else around me, and I hear "Hey ___my name___!!! ... got a shorty?"

I am pretty much completely shocked. This is a MIDDLE SCHOOL KID. I am DRESSED PROFESSIONALLY, e.g. recognizable as a twentysomething!! And you still think you can holla at me?!?!

I honestly can't believe this happened outside the library, too. Is nowhere safe?? And why doesn't this middle-school kid have any respect for those older than him? It honestly scares me that not only did I get harassed outside the library, but it was by a middle schooler, and I was not dressed like a teenager. Ugh.

5/20/08

2008-05-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I was checking out the NY hollaback site, which I found quite interesting, and decided to look at yours because, well, I am from Texas. I was flashed and masturbated to for the first time by a man in a pickup truck asking me for directions at the age of 8. A good friend of mine, with whom I compare "flashee" stories (we've both been flashed/masturbated to numerous times), has become a pro at calling the police while encouraging the perp to continue masturbating. I am telling you this to emphasize how commonplace these egregious incidents are and why I was interested in the "hollaback" mission to begin with. I want to know why women tend to freeze and expect outside help when put in these situations, and how we can learn to react more effectively to aggressive exhibitionism and molestation.

From the cursory look I've had at hollaback Texas, it appears your website is bascially a space for rants about awkward men making socially retarded come-ons. I do not consider someone staring at me to be infringing on my rights. Licking their lips, making kissing noises, hanging a head out of a car window to get a good look - all those behaviors are immature and uncomfortable to have done to you by a complete stranger, but I believe they warrant our pity and efforts at education more than our rage. I understand that you aren't getting a heck of a lot of submissions for the site, but filling the space by detailing every incident in which you are the object of a man's awkward attempts to compliment or come on to you just sounds whiny and self-indulgent.

5/14/08

2008-05-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

My sister and I were waiting at the corner for the bus. A truck full of construction workers stopped at a stoplight and the four or five guys immediately started yelling at us. My sister and I, almost in unison, flicked them off and yelled "*&% you!!". Then they grabbed portions of their lunch leftovers, including a bunch of orange peels, and threw them at us! What a bunch of apes.

Houston

9/16/07

2007-09-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

I've experienced my fair share of verbal 'admirations' from men on the street and in other public places... I've always assumed this came from being naturally busty at a young age (a.k.a. without having had kids/enhancment/etc.) and being 'petite'/wearing glasses/looking older than I am... etc. They were, however, usually confined to honks, things yelled from cars (I often walked to work), or simple staring.

However, the incidents have begun to escalate (both in frequency and scariness) at a rather alarming pace.

This escalation started about a month ago... I was -days- away from taking a trip with some of my former High School classmates to Germany, and my passport still had not arrived... so my mother and I took an emergency, last minute trip to a Passport Processing center in Colorado.

I, happily, had my passport in hand after waking up early and standing in line for only an hour or two.. and our flight back to DFW (my hometown) was not until the next morning, so we had some time to kill.

We went to the local mall and just looked around, so I could maybe pick up some clothes for the trip.. I had just exited a gaming store (with the usual stares that accompany any girl walking into one of those) when two teenagers passed by and said, loud enough for me and my mother to hear, "Check out the rack on that one." When I gasped and my mother blurted out "Excuse me?" They chuckled and replied "What? We just lookin'."... like that made it ok .

About a week later, while in Germany...

While my male friend was still on the phone, two older men approached me and started speaking rather broken German. When I told them, first in German and then in English, that I only spoke a little German, they quickly switched to even worse English. I finally deciphered that they were trying to sell the American teenagers weed. When I declined, one of the men went to solicite my friend (who was still on the phone) and the other one stayed to chat me up, maybe thinking I might change my mind.... after some horribly non-productive conversation, mainly consisting of me attempting to get him to go away, he glanced/nodded down at my breast and said "So you have the American boob job, yes?" in a mixture of english and german. I was agast, and the word for "away" in German popped into my head, and I started pointing and yelling it... the man grabbed his friend and dissapeared...

I later told the other girl with us about this incident, and looking back on it was slightly humourous... it ended up being a big joke the whole trip.

These last two incidents are much more frightening.

One involves the drive-thru at my local McDonalds. ... There was a certian young man who worked (and possibly still works) the drive thru in the mornings. He is probably atleast seven years my senior, but he still kind of flirted with me and complimented me on my car. I didn't mind this at first, as he was polite and not creepy about it. So I talked to him... and then it slowly got worse. He would keep me at the window (by holding my change hostage... to the point where I started paying exactly) and hold up the line, just talking to me. At the beginning, while the conversation was non-threatening, I had let two things slip:

1. I lived in the area

2. I really liked the new, redesigned, '06 civic si's that had just came out.

He -bought- one of those civics, and told me he 'thought I would like it', and then the next day when I was in the drive-thru he told me that my little Honda looked cute sitting in front of my house I was... flabbergasted. I drove straight to the police station, but they said there was probably not much they could do.

I have since seen him while out driving, and he usually pulls up right along side me and waves, or tries to get me to race him. He knows the make and model of all cars my family owns, from asking other employees at McDonalds.

The poliece still haven't done anything.

------------------------------------

The other, more frightening incident happened recently. I was checking in to my dorm at college, and had a few friends from High School with me, including my male, gay best friend, and a guy we both new who had actually left high school early to go to an advanced acadamey at this particular college.

The desk is set up in such a way that it's a boob-height, but the person setting behind it just barely looks over the desk. I was wearing a simple, not-too revealing v-cut sweater, with an undershirt under it to keep my breast from hanging out.

Now, this guy I know from High School has always been a little... off. And kind of weird... part of it is that he's a genius, so much so that he doesn't have normal social skills.

He's the kind of guy you let hang out with you just because there's no way to get rid of him/you're scared of what will happen if you do... (if anyone was going to bring a gun to school, it would've been him).. but I figured I'd rather be on his good side, so I tolerated him. And most of the time, he was tollerable.

However, when the desk clerck looked up to greet me, he was apparently quite taken with my breast, and stared for a moment before letting out a barely audible 'damn' and quickly looking back down at the keyboard.

I could've written this off, except the 'friend' (in the -loosest- sense of the word) from High School leaned over the counter and went "Yeah, I know.. she has huge boobs."

When I acted agast, he said "What? I thought I'd compliment you on them." I shook my head, and my gay friend stepped in and told the other guy he should leave. The other guy did such, until the next day when we ran into him at the cafateria... he leaned over (I was wearing a similar shirt/undershirt combo) and said "Huh... you have a cut on your boob" and then proccedded to put his finger right on it. (The cut was a cat scratch from trying to medicate my elderly cat, and was semi-deep in my cleavage)... I slapped his hand away, and once again my gay friend stepped in and told him he needed to leave right away.

I filed a report with the campus poliece, and they called him in and interviewed him.. but the just blew it off because it was my word vs. his, and I had no proof.

I unfourtunently have a class with this ass-hole (who still doesn't think he did anything wrong) and I now arrive late and leave early from that class (w/consent of the teacher, after explaining the situation) to avoid him, since it was too late to drop it.

If he ever speaks to me again, I'm going to kick him in the balls and possibly the face, and have told him as much after he sat right behind me one day and proceded to lean over me and stare down at my breast, and then point out my breast to all of the guys in his row (quite a few of whom collaberated with him in commenting on them)..

8/15/07

2007-08-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

Some people just dont give up! I was driving to work around 7:30A.M on the highway when this truck with two guys in it pull up beside me. I notice that they slow down so I look over and they're just sticking their heads out smiling at me. Im thinking "Its too early in the morning for this" and keep driving. But they dont leave! So I look and the guy, whos probably 20 years older than me, is holding up his cell phone pointing for me to give my number. I shake my head no and keep driving. Did they go away? no! For the next 15 mins they follow me. When i switch lanes, they switch lanes, etc. Still attempting to get my number. They motion for me to pull over or exit....."Hell no!" Again i shake my head NO and even wave goodbye and speed up. They then get behind me and start flashing their lights at me. Give up already im thinking. Im getting a little creeped out. So My exit was up, and when i exited, so did they. They finally gave up another 10 to 15 mins later when I was almost at work. I was so glad they didnt follow me all the way, but I guess they realized they were driving too far out of the way because they turned around and got back on the interstate. Im glad it takes like 45mins to get to work or they would know where i work. Then I'd really have something to worry about.

6/21/2007

2007-06-21T17:12:00.000-07:00

One evening my mother and I were out and about, we stopped at a local gas station to get gas, as my mom went in to pay for the gas i noticed i was being stared at from the guy that was at the other pump across from where i was, I just looked at him and turned away, but as i turned back around because my mom was heading to me i noticed this guys jerking himself off, he was wearing gray sweatpants, you could actully see him holding his stuff and jerking off, right in front of me!!! I looked at my mom and told her look at that jerk, i guess it scared her and she said lets go. I was somewhat scared but i was angry more than anything that this guy could just stand there where we were getting gas and do something like that to two women. how do they get the nerve up to do things like this in PUBLIC. what a dumbass. I wish i could have gotten his picture, now I'm prepared if anything like this every happens again.

thanks for listening

4/6/07

2007-04-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

When I was in 8th grade, I would always have to walk home after school, I didn't mind it but what did bug me was that one time i was walking home and some construction workers where working on this house that had burned down and i had to forcefully walk that way because i couldnt get home another way. well anywayz as soon as i walked by they started to whistle and say hey baby. Take in mind im only 15 and these men where like as old as my dad (dad is 47). i never turned back because it creeped me out. it was me and like ten construction workers. i was wearing really crappy clothes too. i walked as fast as i could and was never happier to get home.

2/11/07

2007-02-11T17:17:00.000-08:00

Over the holidays, I was watching a concert that my dad was in at the Meyerson. I was seated between my mom and a middle-aged 'gentleman'. Right after the program began, the guy tapped me on my leg and leered at me! I was scared stiff; it was the first time this sort of situation had ever happened to me, and I had no idea what to do. I felt embarassed and ashamed; no one ever has the right to make me feel that way. Thanks for giving me an outlet to share.

2/8/07

2007-02-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, this was priceless. I work in a bank in a rural area inTexas. The drive -thru window is very well-lit. A car pulled in and I turned on the microphone to assist two guys who were rummaging through their wallets trying to find their paperwork.

Guy 1: "Hey, sexy, how's about you give me a roll of quarters for this twenty." Um....ok. Can he count?

I told him a roll was ten dollars.

Guy 2: :Well, how about instead if you just take this twenty and buy yourself a red lace bra so next time we come through here, you will be wearing it for us."

I sooo wanted to grab his twenty.

By then, these lovely gentlemen were holding up the line. I told them that if they weren't going to conduct bank business, they needed to leave. They screeched through the drive -thru and went away, and the best I can assume is that the camera outside has them on record if they come by again.

2007-01-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

Hey Im not from texas, but oklahoma... close enough. This happened to me the other day and i was disgusted.I was in walmart the other day and this guy came up to me in the check out line after following me around the store and said; "This isnt a come on or anything, but you are the mose beautiful girl i have ever seen"then the guy at the cash register that was checking me out proceeded to say... "Yea she is. Can i have your number Miss ******? (read off of my credit card) "Can i have your number, oh wait, it says it on your drivers liscense. can i write it down?"UHHHHH NO!do people ever respect your privacy?aparently not in ______, Oklahoma.

2007-01-01T15:43:00.000-08:00

i pulled out of the lot, drove a block, stopped at a red light & justhappened to glance in the rearview mirror. saw a disgusting sloth ofa man making disgusting motions with his tongue. glared and screamedat him in the mirror. picked up phone and pretended to call someonewho would presumably swoop down from the sky and kill him (spiderman,why cant you be real?). continued driving & glaring & fake-talking.stopped at the next red light where he kept making the tongue motionsin the lane next to mine. made a note of his license plate and madesure to mouth it clearly into the phone. he drove off at a snail'space. i drove off behind him at a slower pace, not wanting to befollowed by him. he finally pulled off to the side of the road as ifhe was going to stop. i put the pedal to the medal and put twotraffic lights and a highway between me and him. if i see him again,i will mosdef call the cops and do everything i can to track down hisidentity. creep.

Does that mean cutting my head off?

2006-12-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

I was getting on my bus to work when the driver held out his hands almost as if to stop me getting on the bus. I said something precaffeinated like 'Um.' He said 'I wanted to frame your face and put it on the front of my bus.'

The bus was empty and there was no-one around. I sat down.

Daddy, why do some men stare at ladies?

2006-11-12T11:31:00.000-08:00

I was waiting for a bus when a man slowed down and started driving super slowly, leaning way out of the window, staring at me with what was presumably supposed to be a lustful expression but actually looked more like he planned to murder me. Not all that attractive, to be honest, sir. Anyhoo, I was all ready to snap the picture of his van when I saw it had his business name and phone number on it so I thought maybe I'd get into some legal trouble with it and didn't. Plus, the way he looked at me was really pretty scary and there was no-one around. A few days later I saw what was presumably his wife or partner driving the same van with kids in the back. So that's nice.

2006-11-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

I was looking through my mail when two (insert religion here) (they had badges and were dresed in the same way all their missionaries dress) came up to me and asked me if I knew where John Doe was. yeah, like I'm going to tell a complete stranger where someone lives, even if I knew, which I didn't. I was trying to look through my mail, so I said 'No, I don't know' in a normal tone of voice.

'So, do you want to come to our church?'
'No, I'm (insert different religious background).'
'Do you have any friends who would want to come to our church?'
'No.' (It's true, my roommate is Catholic and has a church. I don't know anyone else who would want to go to a church.)
'Well, you should give us a smile at least.'

I look up from my mail, which I've tried to sort through three times by now and look at them properly. Why do I feel like I'm being hassled by a sleaze in a bar?

'Are you kidding me?'
'Hey, why are you so angry?'
'Because you told me to smile while I'm looking in my mailbox. Why would I do that? Look (grins maniaclally into mailbox by way of a demonstration.) That would be insane. Also, it pisses me off the way you assumed everyone is going to be up for going to church. Not everyone is up for going to church. But mostly, because you can see I'm doing something.'
'Yeah, but why are you so angry?'
'For the reasons I just said. Because you made me angry.'

I mean, the (insert religion here)!!Don't they have better things to do?

2006-11-12T11:04:00.000-08:00

I was crossing a road when someone in a passing car screamed something about the fact that I was female. It made me jump out of my skin and look around. Let's not forget I was crossing a road. And it was dark. They zoomed off, laughing at my obvious humiliation. It all seemed a bit dangerous, frankly.

2006-11-12T11:01:00.000-08:00

I got 3 honks and I think one car was following me for a while on a walk that was less than 2 miles. I was just wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I am thinking about getting an airhorn to answer back to the honking.

~S

Harassment is harassment wherever...

2006-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

This isn't a street harrassment but it deserves to be holla'erd. My first job out of college was working for a temp agency at a construction firm in the capital city of Texas where I was the secretary of 7 older men engineers. I barely knew the guys and they would sit next to my desk as I was working and repeat Bible phrases to me while saying that I was a sinner because I was living with my boyfriend. I just tried to ignore them because I needed that job while looking for another one. Then later that day, one of the guys asked me what I was doing after work and finally got out of me that I was shopping for some jeans. He asked me if he could go into the dressing room with me and that I better buy Levi's because girls' asses always look good in Levi's. Another guy kept showing me pictures of his wife to hint (I believe) if I would have a threesome with them. I cried everyday when I was out on my lunch break. If these guys are so into reading the Bible they need to read it in how it pertains to their own lives and stop using it to harrass girls. Luckily I got a new job after 6 weeks of hell.

Give me a smile.... you racist

2006-08-03T17:27:00.000-07:00

The other day I was in a big-box style bookstore, in Texarkana on the way back from Arkansas. I walked over to a helpdesk and was waiting to ask an assistant if they had any books in Spanish, since I had found nothing and I didn't want to waste any more time. I had my arms folded and was facing about 2 o'clock from the helpdesk. A man asking questions of an assistant to my left turned round mid-conversation, looked me up and down extremely blatantly, reached over to me from about 5 feet away, stopped just short of touching me, and said "How YOU doin'?" in delightful Joey-from-Friends style. "Hey, d'you wanna give me a smile?"

"Not to a complete stranger, no" I replied. The assistant continued to try and help him.
He muttered something else at me. "Stop harassing me," I responded.
"I'm not harassing you, I just asked you to give me a smile."
"Leave me alone."
"mumble mumble harassment mumble mumble"
"Leave me alone."
"You're a racist."
"I don't like to be harassed by anyone."
"Racist."
"You shouldn't be bothering me at all, why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Racist."

"Hi, can I help you?"
"Yes, I was just wondering if you have books in Spanish? A section or anything, or any kids' books?"
"No, we don't, I'm sorry."
"OK, thanks, bye."

I went to find my husband to tell him we needed to leave because I had just been called a racist for asking someone to stop bothering and embarrassing me, and that for that reason I now felt threatened on top of all that. He asked what had been said, I repeated it word for word. He can't believe it. We walked past him, with him still glaring threateningly at us both. I wondered if my husband was about to get beaten up, as he was always gloomily predicting would happen before we came to this country if I ever "started mouthing off" at anyone.

Oh, how I wish I'd had the wit to respond to 'You're a racist' with 'And you're a sexist'. Because, of course, calling me a racist is easy to do and probably has some truth in it, because most people are somewhat racist when they've been brought up in a racist society*. But I hope you believe that his race** was not foremost in my mind when I asked him to stop bothering me.

*At least I'm working on it, though.
** (which I don't need to define for this post as it's not relevant - I guess you only need to know that it's different to mine

2006-07-07T17:59:00.000-07:00

Wow..let me just say that i am so glad i do not have to take a bus to school any more. Well i must have been 13 years old and i was walking to my middle school bus stop during the last week of school. i was wearing a skirt and a camisole (nothing out of the ordinary. As i was walking down the street holding a few books a landscaping truck pulls aside of me and they start yelling volgar things to me. "Hey, you don't have to go to school today, I will jsut teach you a few new things". One of them said, as every one in the car laughs and smiles at me. i was so embaressed,i wanted to cry.

Not even 2 weeks ago i was walink home from work (im a store girl at a bakery which is located next to an italian grocery store) and this guy drives by (someone who works at the italian grocery store and also goes to the bakery for a cup of coffee every morning) and he sticks his head out of the window, drives past a stop sign just to watch me walk. I was wearing an XL shrit wih jeans. I just do not understand guys.

I got a few winners/wieners

2006-06-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

These fine young gentleman actually hung their heads out of the car like dogs while we drove by. My sister was terrified, but I was determined to catch up and snap a photos of these beauties. I love how there are like three of them... layer upon layer of perviness.

This guy was the king of all creeps.. I don't know how he even drove with his eyes glued to us. We finally had the unfortunate luck to pull directly behind him and I'm suprised he didn't rear end someone from looking in the rearview mirror non stop... those beady little eyes in that mirror. Made my skin crawl... All we wanted to do was go home after the Mavs game!

~Rachel

A terrifying 'compliment'

2006-05-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

I was walking back from the store near my house in the middle of the day. I waiting at the crossing, and noticed a man in a white truck (with a baseball cap, sunglasses and a white beard) was openly staring at me, which I ignored. Whenever I looked discreetly over without turning my head he was still staring. I crossed the road, thinking that was the end of it, and went into a bookstore. I was in there for around ten minutes. I exited the store, and continued walking home. The man in the white truck pulled alongside me. He had been waiting for me for the ten minutes I was in the store. Now, bear in mind this was next to a stretch of waste ground, with no-one around. If this was just his way of giving me an innocent "compliment", he was really fucking stupid, because it was terrifying. I didn't wait to find out what he wanted (though his grinning and gestures inviting me to 'hop in' to his truck made it pretty obvious) and ran to the nearest store which was a couple of hundred meters away up a hill. The store owner said I could wait in there as long as I wanted, but told me that I needed to be more careful (walking around brazenly as I was in the middle of the day in jeans and a t-shirt) because the man might have mistaken me for a working girl.

I have tits, did you know?

2006-05-10T14:13:00.000-07:00

I was walking the 30 minutes from my workplace to my apartment, when I finally got tired of getting yelled at by passing cars; just the usual: "I love you" or the evergreen (Honk honk) "Hey BAby..." except it had happened five times in the last ten minutes. I called my husband, thinking, at least I'll have something to do with my hands while feeling stupid, I'm tired of having my walk in the sunshine ruined, I want to talk to someone who not only actually does love me, as opposed to just yelling it from a passing car before he's even met me, but also realizes I am a person, and I am beginning to feel unsafe and on edge.

"Hi, how are you?"
"What do you want?" (Yes, this is his little joke. So funny.)
"I've been honked at five times on the way home from work and I thought perhaps if they saw I was talking to someone they'd leave me alone."
"hey, .... TITS!!!!!!!....." says a passing car.
"What was that?"
"Someone telling me I have tits."
"Oh."
"Nice."
"Yep."
"Yep."

Actually it's really frightening

2006-05-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

I was walking to the gas station next to my apartment complex the other night at around 9pm (yes, sometimes lone women need to do that) when a man came up behind me and shouted "How does it feel to be so beautiful?" or some such shit. (Bear in mind it was dark, and all that was identifiable about me was that I was a woman.) Having looked to check he wasn't armed, and was in fact alone, for some reason the following words came out of my mouth: "Actually it's really frightening, because strange men think they can come up to you and yell at you." He toddled off, muttering.

I do like HollaBack NYC's FAQ

2006-05-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

and they were kind enough to say it was fine to post them here.

Question:Are you a bunch of crazed feminazis who hate men?
Answer: Actually, HollaBackNYC is a collective comprised of men and women who believe in building communities where everyone feels comfortable, safe, and respected. Many people, particularly men, are unaware of the frequency and severity of disrespect and intimidation that numerous folks, especially women, experience in public spaces on a daily basis. HollaBackNYC aims to expose and combat street harassment as well as provide an empowering forum in this struggle.

Question: OK, but what exactly is street harassment?
Answer: Street harassment is a form of sexual harassment that takes place in public spaces. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups (women and LGBTQ folks, for example) of their vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Further, it reinforces the ubiquitous sexual objectification of these groups in everyday life.At HollaBackNYC, we believe that what specifically counts as street harassment is determined by those who experience it. While there is always the classic, "Hey baby, nice tits" there are so many other forms that go unnoted. If you feel like you have been harassed, HOLLA BACK!

Question: But aren’t you worried that your site will fuel the latent vindictiveness within women and LGBTQ-identified folks across the country, leading to a massive witch-hunt and rampant Soviet-style denounciations of countless innocents?
Answer: No.

Question: I heard something about your position on antiracism. What’s that about, and what does it have to do with street harassment?
Answer: Replacing sexism with racism is not a proper holla back. Due in part to prevalent stereotypes of men of color as sexual predators or predisposed to violence, HollaBackNYC asks that contributors do not discuss the race of harassers or include other racialized commentary. If you feel that race is important to your story, please make sure its relevance is explained clearly and constructively in your post. Don’t understand? Click here.

Question: But isn’t your idea of “street harassment” just belittling another person’s culture?
Answer: Street harassers occupy the full spectrum of class, race, and ethnicity. Sexual harassment, and street harassment specifically, is resisted around the world. To condense another’s culture into vague assumptions about who and what they are is to generalize dangerously about a wide range of experiences and perspectives.

Question: Confronting street harassers can be dangerous. What about safety issues?
Answer: While everyone is vulnerable to stranger rape and sexual assault, studies show that those who are aware of their surroundings, walk with confidence and, if harassed, respond assertively, are less vulnerable. Nevertheless, direct confrontations with street harassers may prove extremely dangerous, particularly alone or in unpopulated spaces. While it is each individual’s right to decide when, how, and if to Holla Back, do keep issues of safety in mind. Upon deciding to photograph a harasser, you may consider doing so substantially after the initial encounter and from a distance, ensuring the harasser is unaware of your actions.

Question: I am a man who was recently sexually objectified by a woman on the street. I think this is reverse harassment. Why won’t you post my story?
Answer: While a woman making unsolicited sexual remarks to a man is certainly conceivable, the power dynamics of such an encounter are very different in a society where women comprise a historically subordinated group. HollaBackNYC is a project dedicated to combating a particular form of violence that designates subordinated groups (such as women and LGBTQ folks, for example) as targets in public spaces or otherwise vulnerable to unsolicited, nonconsensual encounters with strangers. It is thus not a forum for reporting other unpleasantries.

Question: Isn’t street harassment the price you pay for living in a city?
Answer: No, local taxes are the price you pay for living in a city. We would love to see some portion of our local taxes go towards preventing street harassment, but alas, they don’t.In fact, street harassment is not confined to urban areas. It occurs in shopping malls, cars, parking lots, public parks, airplanes, fast-food restaurants, gas stations, churches, and numerous other public spaces.

Question: So let’s say a man sees a woman he thinks is attractive and tells her so. Are you saying that makes him a harasser?
Answer: Some do not find comments such as “Hello, beautiful” or “Hey, gorgeous” offensive. Many do. Others may find them intimidating, intrusive, or just an annoying pain in the ass. Keep in mind that many women experience unsolicited comments, as well as violent verbal assault, from men in public spaces on a regular basis. Rather than deliberating the “grey areas” of street harassment, treat everyone you encounter with respect.

Question: If you show off your boobage, shouldn’t you expect some compliments?
Answer: Sure, expect them, but don’t accept them! Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s okay. A compliment is not a compliment if it makes the recipient feel bad.

Question: Sure, but if "the harasser" were hot, wouldn’t you like it?
Answer: This has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.

Question: You’re just a bunch of prudes, then?
Answer: Like we said, this has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.

Question: Street harassment sucks, but it’s only a small part of the patriarchy. Doesn’t focusing on this specific issue detract from everything else we're up against?
Answer: The violence and disrespect experienced daily by countless people in public spaces is a serious problem with real, material consequences. While HollaBackNYC is a project dedicated to this particular issue, it is committed to a coalitional approach and situates street harassment within a larger framework of social and economic questions. Thus, the collective collaborates with a diverse range of feminist, queer and antiracist initiatives. To see what we’re up to, subscribe to our mailing list!

HollaBackNYC is not responsible for the accuracy of individual postings. All views and positions expressed in posted submissions are those of individual contributors only.